Self pity is self destructive. Feeling bad for ourselves usually makes a bad situation worse. The longer we linger in self pity the longer the situation lasts. We often sabotage our own success with self pity. Self pity will keep us stuck in the past or present and will not allow us to see a hope filled future. Self pity tries to block us from what could be based upon what was or what is. As followers of Jesus we must remember that Jesus is the great I am, not the great I was or the great I will be. If we are breathing there is hope. When bad things happen to us, or when we make bad decisions and don’t like the consequences of those decisions, we often feel shame. If we don’t deal with the shame self pity can grow out of the soil of shame. Shame most often tells us that it’s time to change. Not dealing and responding correct to the shame results in self pity. Not dealing with self pity can be costly. Self pity, self bitterness, and self hatred could even lead to self destruction. If you are struggling with this right now ask Jesus to help you. He always hears a sincere and humble heart that reaches out to him for help. Just know you are not alone and there is hope. God is omnipresent which means he is there when you cried and he even bottles your tears. He is there to help. Allow the wisdom that you find on his word (the Bible) to guide your thoughts, words and actions and you will not stay stuck in self pity. I have visited self pity street and it’s worse than a boarded-up, run down neighborhood. There is no life or shelter there. Ask God for help and he will be there. He often sends help in the form of things we don’t want to hear. Listen, absorb it and make the necessary adjustments so you can break free and help others. Remember this, you can’t help someone with something that you are in bondage to yourself. If hurt people hurt people then free people help others get free and it was for freedom that Christ set us free. [Galatians 5:1]
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” [Proverbs 29:15 NKJV]
You don’t have to be a parent to gain wisdom and understanding from this proverb. You may not have a child to discipline or nurture, but if you don’t receive disciple and correction and if you don’t nurture what you are responsible for you will live with shame. Correction is often protection. Correction and discipline are both ways we gain wisdom. Spanking a child, not out of anger but out of love, is actually one of the ways God gives a child wisdom through his parents love and discipline. Correction is one of the ways we gain wisdom. If a child doesn’t feel the consequences of their actions they will feel that there will be no consequences to their actions later in life. When someone rejects correction they are actually rejecting wisdom. Most people will choose feelings over wisdom, I hope your are not like most people. When a child is neglected and left to themself they bring their mother shame. If we neglect what God will hold us accountable for we will have shame. Shame announces to us boldly that it’s time to make a change. Any area of our lives that we neglect will probably lead to shame in some way. It is essential to receive correction if we want to gain wisdom. Wisdom is necessary to make the right decisions. It is equally essential to nurture and care for and be attentive to what we will be accountable for. Be faithful to receive correction and nurture what God has blessed you with.
The Christian life must be built upon and centered around Christ and his teachings and commandments. Many Christians live defeated and disappointed lives because they think that the Christian life is about them, let’s be clear it’s not. The Christian life is not about us achieving our dreams in Jesus name. Jesus is not a representative of our kingdoms, we are called to be ambassadors of his. The Christian life is about Christ being formed in you and Christ being expressed through you.
- The Christian life is about sacrificial love not self preservation.
- The Christian life is about self denial not self gratification.
- The Christian life is about Christ’s significance not our security.
- The Christian life is about the Savior not our savings account.
- If your savings is your security mammon is your God.
Our security comes from knowing Christ intimately and our significance comes from serving Christ faithfully. Do you really know Jesus? Have you committed to serving him?
Cancel culture is not new but it is more aggressive than ever before. Often we label people so that we don’t have to listen to them. We need to learn to listen better. We need to learn to be slow to speak. We need to learn to love people we don’t agree with. People need to know that we don’t hate them just because we disagree with them. That false narrative needs to be exposed for the lie that it is. If you still feel the need to cancel stuff and people here are a few suggestions below.
- Cancel your preconceived notions of others and learn to listen.
- Cancel your feelings and fulfill your commitments.
- Cancel your doubts and believe what God has said.
- Cancel your fear and choose faith.
- Cancel complaining and choose to be thankful.
- Cancel greed and be generous.
- Cancel talking about people and talk to them.
- Cancel the need to live to please people who don’t even like or care about you.
- Cancel the lie that if you had ________ you would be happy.