Self pity is self destructive. Feeling bad for ourselves usually makes a bad situation worse. The longer we linger in self pity the longer the situation lasts. We often sabotage our own success with self pity. Self pity will keep us stuck in the past or present and will not allow us to see a hope filled future. Self pity tries to block us from what could be based upon what was or what is. As followers of Jesus we must remember that Jesus is the great I am, not the great I was or the great I will be. If we are breathing there is hope. When bad things happen to us, or when we make bad decisions and don’t like the consequences of those decisions, we often feel shame. If we don’t deal with the shame self pity can grow out of the soil of shame. Shame most often tells us that it’s time to change. Not dealing and responding correct to the shame results in self pity. Not dealing with self pity can be costly. Self pity, self bitterness, and self hatred could even lead to self destruction. If you are struggling with this right now ask Jesus to help you. He always hears a sincere and humble heart that reaches out to him for help. Just know you are not alone and there is hope. God is omnipresent which means he is there when you cried and he even bottles your tears. He is there to help. Allow the wisdom that you find on his word (the Bible) to guide your thoughts, words and actions and you will not stay stuck in self pity. I have visited self pity street and it’s worse than a boarded-up, run down neighborhood. There is no life or shelter there. Ask God for help and he will be there. He often sends help in the form of things we don’t want to hear. Listen, absorb it and make the necessary adjustments so you can break free and help others. Remember this, you can’t help someone with something that you are in bondage to yourself. If hurt people hurt people then free people help others get free and it was for freedom that Christ set us free. [Galatians 5:1]
Cancel culture is not new but it is more aggressive than ever before. Often we label people so that we don’t have to listen to them. We need to learn to listen better. We need to learn to be slow to speak. We need to learn to love people we don’t agree with. People need to know that we don’t hate them just because we disagree with them. That false narrative needs to be exposed for the lie that it is. If you still feel the need to cancel stuff and people here are a few suggestions below.
- Cancel your preconceived notions of others and learn to listen.
- Cancel your feelings and fulfill your commitments.
- Cancel your doubts and believe what God has said.
- Cancel your fear and choose faith.
- Cancel complaining and choose to be thankful.
- Cancel greed and be generous.
- Cancel talking about people and talk to them.
- Cancel the need to live to please people who don’t even like or care about you.
- Cancel the lie that if you had ________ you would be happy.
“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” [II Timothy 1:6-7] In these verses above we see that fear try’s to stop us from stirring up the gifts of God that are within us through the laying on of hands. The spirit of fear try’s to shut down the supernatural. Remember the spiritual gifts communicate and demonstrate the supremacy of Christ. The spirit of fear try’s to stop the gifts, shut down love, shut off power and disrupt your disciplined and self controlled mind. If you don’t perceive things correctly you can’t respond correctly. You as a believer in Jesus have the mind of Christ, which means you can see things from God’s perspective. Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to reject fear. Be wise, use wisdom but don’t let fear paralyze you from being powerful in Christ. The four Greek words for power that literally raised Jesus from the dead according to Ephesians 1:19 are at work within you. Remember you are more powerful than you feel.
Fear is a choice, don’t choose fear. Fear is a liar, don’t believe fear. Fear is a thief, don’t trust fear. Fear is a spirit, cast fear out. Perfect love casts out all fear. In Christ you can live a life completely free of fear.
- The proud – even God is resisting them. “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” [James 4:6] Pride will turn your advocate into your adversary. We can either choose to humble ourselves or be humiliated.
- The liar – someone who is not honest is not ready for help. Real help actually begins with honesty.
- The wanderer – someone who is everywhere but nowhere. They have no roots and so they aren’t able to receive help until they commit to plant themselves somewhere.
- The sinner – if someone is not willing to confess and forsake their sins they are stuck and you can’t help them out of where they want to be. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but the sinner finds identity, direction and pleasure in their sin until it totally crushes them and brings them to Jesus. But not everyone lives through their sin. Some actually die in it. That could have been me, but by the mercy of God I didn’t.
The fear of the Lord brings an awareness that one day we will give an account to God for our intentions, words and actions. That is how the conscience is awakened and then we realize that we really need God. The kindness of God leads us to repentance. His patience with us is not his approval of what we are doing. Often the kindness of people is how God reveals his kindness to us. We can help to break up the fallow ground in the life of others by praying for and being kind and generous with people. Once humility begins to happen then grace appears and then change can happen for that person who was previously un-help-able. Just keep praying for and loving on folks. Leave the results to Jesus.
Faith, hope and love all have a mutual friend, her name is patience. The trial of your faith produces patience, so where there is genuine faith there is authentic patience. Love is patient. In other words, an expression of love is patience. Hope actually means cheerful or hopeful endurance. So there is no real love, faith or hope without patience. Patience brings what God is doing in us to a place of maturity. There is no real spiritual or emotional maturity without patience. Jesus said, in patience you possess your soul. You can not have rule over your mind, will and emotions without patience. Often faith, hope and love are most commonly expressed through patience. Lord Jesus be our patience and by your grace give us the ability to cheerfully endure anything and everything that may come at us in this life.
Some people walk around overwhelmed because disappointment is so deep within them that every little issue feels big. You don’t have to live like that. Overwhelmed is not just a feeling it’s a choice. Instead of focusing on everything, focus on the next right decision and make it. No one will make it for you, that’s your job. Your feelings, your words, your responses, your actions, those are your responsibility. When you choose to be overwhelmed the circumstances you are in then become the Lord of your life. Lets not let disappointment be our Lord and Savior, that what Jesus is for. False hope and false expectations lead to real disappointments. It’s ok to feel disappointed. Feeling disappointed only reveals that you had hope. We have all been lied to or lied about. But how you respond will determine where you go and who will go with you. Your response to unfavorable circumstances will either make you a victim or an overcomer, the choice is yours. If you don’t deal with the disappointment it will deal with you. Choose not to be overwhelmed focus on the Lord and the next right decision.