Tag: personal development

How are your Emotions?

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

How are your emotions? How you manage your emotions will determine the quality of your life. How you mange your emotions will determine how much people trust you. There is a direct connection between how you manage your feelings and how you manage your friendships. Many people are like a hard drive that is 98 % full and slowing down. When the hard drive is very close to full the computer is not only slower but it is also at risk of crashing. Crashing could mean that you loose what you have because you didn’t protect it well. Many people are one situation away from a meltdown. Your mind, will and emotions are limited in both strength and space. Keeping a clear conscience is not just about admitting when you are wrong or confessing sin, its also about managing your emotions. If you don’t manage your emotions you may have a meltdown. The same way if you don’t make space on the hard drive and just keep saving stuff your computer may eventually crash. The end result of not managing emotions could even be murder or suicide, so this is a very serious thing. Your emotional health is determined by what you internalize and what you externalize. Here is a model I have used especially during hard times.


What to Internalize and what to Externalize.

Internalize – think about and focus on.

  1. What God says in his word (the Bible) and by his Holy Spirit.
  2. What God does. (The Testimonies of the Lord)
  3. Success. (What I have learned from what I did right) 
  4. The lessons I have learned and why? (What I learned from my failures)
  5. Good advice I have received from wise counselors.

Externalize – write them down on paper until you are done processing what was presented to you. 

  1. Problems
  2. Needs
  3. Temptation
  4. Criticism
  5. Failures

We should write down what we internalize as well. The reason I am saying to write down what you are externalizing is so that your problems don’t occupy precious and priceless space in your soul. I hope this helps you process what emotions you are feeling. Remember, emotions make a great servant but a terrible master. 

Poverty

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Poverty is not only a lack of money, it’s also a lack of opportunity. Steve Stewart founder of Impact Nations said, “opportunity unlocks potential.” Where poverty is, potential is not. Because human beings are priceless potential is expensive. The best thing we can invest in is people. The greatest investment is to give to someone who can not give you anything in return.

Poverty is also economic oppression. Sometimes the oppressor is without, and sometimes the oppressor is within. Sometimes the oppression is hopelessness. When someone is hopeless they feel helpless. When you give someone hope you are actually giving them help. When people are hungry and do not have access to clean water they suffer unnecessarily. It’s hard to work and learn when your stomach hurts because of you don’t have access to clean water, or you have a headache because you are hungry. Also the poor are also often oppressed by corrupt police or under policed because they have nothing. Not always but often your voice is as loud as your pocket is deep.

We should be a voice for those who have no voice. We should should extend a hand to the needy instead of just assuming they are lazy. The wisest and richest man to ever live said, “when you give to the poor you are lending to the Lord.” Jesus said, “what you have done to the least of these you have done to me.” In the kingdom of God you don’t have what you saved, you have what you gave. We store up treasure in heaven by giving to the poor of the earth. If you would like to invest in the poor click here.

4 Keys to Productivity

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Highly productive people are strategic about what they do, intentional about how, why and when they do it and are relentlessly committed as they are doing it. If you want to be more and do more this blog is for you. If you believe you can do more because of the vision, passion and mission you have been given then this blog is for you.

4 Keys to Productivity 

  1. Prepare – for what you will do. A man once asked Abraham Lincoln “If you had 8 hours to cut a tree down what would you do?” Lincoln replied, “I would sharpen my axe for 6 hours.” The more prepared we are the easier it is to execute what we are actually trying to do.
  2. Plan– for how and when you will do it. “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” (John C Maxwell) If you don’t care about what you are doing you will not prepare yourself for it or plan how and when you will do it. The more you care about who you are and what you are doing the more seriously you will take planning. Just think about how much planning goes into a wedding. The wedding is a very important and expensive day; therefore a lot of planning goes into that day. Whatever we value we plan for.
  3. Focus – while you are doing it. In reality most of us are very busy and easily distracted. When we are doing something that really matters we should give that something or that someone our undivided attention. The more we focus on what we are doing, the faster and more effective we will be. We spend a lot of time and money on unnecessary things because we don’t pay close attention to details. Only when we really focus can we really put our best foot forward.
  4. Persevere– following through until you have done it. Often the only difference between failure and success is perseverance. Most people quit right before they begin to win. If you are someone who is motivated and led by feelings you will struggle with perseverance. However if you value choices over feelings you will choose perseverance and have your due reward for not quitting. Often in life we come to a breaking point right before we enter into a breakthrough. If you are doing something good for God and people, don’t quit. I have never met someone that regretted persevering when it came to doing what was right and good. However I have met many people who live with “I should have”, “I could have” but “I didn’t”. If you are that person let go of regret and go finish that good thing you started. It is not too late to do what is right. You have a choice to make today. Don’t quit! 

How the Media Controls People

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

What if the media was strategically putting their message directly into your mind? What if they had a proven scientific strategy to bypass your logic and implant their message deep into the recesses of your mind? They do. But who are they? I am glad you asked. They are communists, terrorists, liberals and even conservatives. I am not writing this to scare you. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I am not writing this so that you stop watching the news. However, I am writing this so you watch the news with a filter on so that their message doesn’t end up deep in your memory bank without you choosing to put it there. What is bizarre about this whole thing is that people who believe completely different things all use the same strategy. The strategy is very simple and I will illustrate it and then show you another unrelated example that has affected all of us. Step one: they show you a disturbing image that breeds fear. This shuts down your frontal lobe, which is your logic center. Step two: they take their message and bypass your logic and put it directly into your memory bank. They do this without you accepting or believing it. Practically and scientifically speaking here is how they do it. They show you frightening images with disturbing sounds they shut down the frontal lobe in your brain. Their goal is control. They accomplish it through fear. Remember this, whatever you are afraid of is what rules you. The media uses fear to bypass our logic and control us. If we reject fear they cannot control us. My friend Khalid from Pakistan said, “danger is real, but fear is a choice.” So reject fear and then process the information logically instead of just emotionally. Emotions are great, they make a great servant but a terrible master.

Here is another illustration of how fear shuts down the logical side of your brain in real life. You are watching a scary movie, you hear a loud sound coming from a darkroom in the movie scene and you jump. What just happened here? Fear shut down the frontal lobe or the logic side of your brain. In that moment you forgot that the movie was filmed long ago in a faraway land called Hollywood and that everything is happening on the TV screen. Because you forgot that, you reacted in fear to something that you have absolutely no reason to be afraid of.

If you would like to read an article that explains how fear affects the brain click here.

How Powerful People Think.

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Powerful people don’t think I can’t, they think how can I? They don’t think this won’t work, they think how can we make this work? Powerful people don’t focus on the problem they focus on solutions and strategies. Let me share with you a private conversation I had with a powerful person who is happy, humble and really down to earth. This man is an inventor, an investor, a philanthropist and an evangelist. He is a good husband to one woman for many years and a good father to his children. He feeds orphans daily and sends young people to college that are not even his children. God has blessed him and he has made some right decisions over the course of his life and now he lives to give. I have leaned a lot from him. His life has taught me that the purpose of prosperity is generosity. 

One day while in another country with my good friend I asked him, what does it feel like to be powerful? I said to him, you can buy a Mercedes or a house in the Caribbean or go on vacation for a few months. You can do virtually whatever you want. What does that feel like? When you get up in the morning what do you feel like? At first he really didn’t have an answer. In fact he said that it was a good question and that no one had ever asked him that before. From my question I learned that a good question is a question that has never been asked before. Not only will the asker grow from the answer, but the one answering the question will grow also because now he is thinking about something he never thought about before. The next day he answered me in a more clear and definitive way. He said, “to be honest it feels good to know that I can buy my wife a Lexus cash, but honestly I really don’t think about it until we need a car.” When he said that a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Powerful people don’t allow useless thoughts to occupy precious head space. In other words my friend doesn’t wake up thinking about what he can buy or where he can go, he only thinks about what is pertinent to now. Because he planned for tomorrow he doesn’t have to worry about it. Powerful people live in now. They may plan for tomorrow, but they refuse to worry about it. Remember this if you are worrying about tomorrow you are probably not planning for it wisely, because fear and worry shut down the logical part of your brain. So worrying about tomorrow will mess up both today and tomorrow, making yesterday rather appealing. Powerful people don’t live in yesterday or tomorrow they live in now. You can’t be powerful living in the past or the future, because you live in now. If you are attentive to now, tomorrow will be better than if you focused on yesterday or worried about tomorrow. Whether you are day dreaming about the house or the car of your dreams, or worrying about how you are going to pay your bills. Dreaming and worrying are not how powerful think. Powerful think about what is the next right decision based on who I am, where I am, where I am going and what I value. Powerful people practice self control, which helps them to stay focused on what is most important. The more self control you have the more powerful you are. Powerful people don’t control others they control themselves.

3 things powerful people don’t think about.

  1. Powerful people don’t worry about what is out of their control.
  2. Powerful people don’t allow useless things to occupy precious head space.
  3. Powerful people don’t live in the past, they are focused on the next right decision.

A $4000 Mistake

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Money will not make you happy, but debt will make you unhappy. – John C Maxwell. If you have ever been in debt you know this to be a painful reality. King Solomon who was literally the wisest and wealthiest man to ever live said, “the borrower is servant to the lender.” Before we move any further I want you to see the connection between wealth and wisdom. Yes there are rich fools, but there is a undeniable connection between wisdom and wealth. With that being said, I want to share with you one of the stupidest things that I have even done. It cost me $4000 dollars to know the difference between faith and presumption. John C Maxwell said, “if you want to impress someone tell them about your successes. If you want to impact someone tell them the stupidest thing that you have ever done and the lessons that you learned from it.” I am more interested in having a positive impact than portraying a false image of myself. In others words I am sharing my pain for your gain.

On June 27th, 2009 at 12:00 pm I married Sarah Bruce and in a moment she became Sarah LiVecchi. The next day we left for the beautiful Dominican Republic. There we helped lead a missions team and then stayed in the 5 star RIU Palace Punta Cana right on the beach for a 15 day honeymoon. We came home for about two weeks and then headed to Nicaragua to serve the poor with Impact Nations. It was exciting, we were newly married excited about life, each other and what we were doing. The $4000 mistake was the Nicaragua trip. The mistake wasn’t going and serving the poor. Remember what Jesus said, “what you have done to the least of these you have done unto me.” The mistake was not being prepared for the trip, not fundraising before the trip. The mistake was using a credit card when we didn’t have the money to pay for the trip. It became very apparent to me why MasterCard is called MasterCard. If you use the card and do not have the money that card will really become your master. What we were doing was right, but how we went about it was wrong. The problem was that we presumed we would have enough money from our wedding to pay for the trip, unfortunately we were both sincerely wrong. Our motives were right, our actions were right, but our presumption cost us $4000 dollars. Remember this, faith prepares not presumes. Faith is about preparation not presumption. Faith plans and prepares, faith does not assume and presume. It is important to know that having the right motives is not enough. You also need to make the right plans and the right preparations. I no longer have any regret from this mistake, now I have a lesson learned. I didn’t have foresight, but I gained some priceless insight for the price of $4000 USD. I am hoping that my lesson learned can be your problem avoided.

The World has Changed

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

People who find it hard to accept reality say, the world is changing. People who understand reality, know the world has changed. People who are ahead of their time get critized, but people who don’t change will get left behind. We have to choose who we will be. Let me explain what two intelligent businessmen explained to me recently. “The largest media company in the world doesn’t produce media; Facebook. The largest retail store in the world doesn’t own a store; Amazon. The largest taxi service in the world doesn’t own a cab; Uber. The largest hotel chain in the world doesn’t own a hotel; Airbnb.” With a push of the button you can share your thoughts with the world, get a cab, rent a hotel or buy whatever you are want and have it delivered to your doorstep. I must say all of this is cool and very helpful. It definitely increases our ability to be both productive and profitable. However there are two cautions that I have about all this convenience.

2 cautions concerning convenience.

  1. Subtly we can begin to think the world exists to serve us.
  2. All of the convenience can make us more and more impatient and that is dangerous.

If we take these mentalities and apply them to our most meaningful relationships the results can be tragic. If we come to relationships for only what we can get we will have very broken, dysfunctional and unproductive relationships. If we are impatient, we are actually unloving and love is at the center of all meaningful, sustainable and productive relationships. So it’s cool to let convenience speed us up and make us more productive and more profitable but we have to be careful that convenience doesn’t make us more narcissistic day by day. Although the world has changed and is changing there are some things that are enduring. There are somethings that will never change such as God, his word and the evidence of his residence in those who believe. Those unchanging realties give us clear reference points and help us navigate change and uncertainties with clarity and certainty.

Discover Your Strengths

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

If you want to discover your strengths keep reading. Strengths Finder 2.0 is extremely helpful. All of the core members of our team have taken the test and know their number one strength. One of the members of our team took the test and found out that her top strength was empathy. She was pretty surprised almost astonished. Her exact words were, “I always thought this was a weakness of mine and even my mom told me this was a weakness.” That day she learned that what she thought was one of her greatest weaknesses was actually her greatest strength. We also learned that well-meaning people who are close to us and actually want the best for us could be clearly wrong in their perception of us. Taking the test at the end of the book made her more comfortable and more confident in her own skin. Now she is positioned to be more productive. The results helped both the individual and the organization; it was a win win for everyone. Now as a team leader I am not putting anyone in a position until we first know his or her number one strength. By not putting people in positions prematurely I am protecting the person, the team and the productivity of the organization. Now the person won’t be frustrated and I want be disappointed.

Not only did strengths finder 2.0 help my team it also helped my marriage. My wife Sarah’s number one strength is belief. She is an amazing woman with strong convictions. When I married her she was a 26-year-old virgin. In todays twisted culture that is something to be proud of. Her belief in Jesus and her value for herself made this possible. Her belief is what makes many of the mundane things she does on a daily basis meaningful. We do almost everything together. I am more of a pioneer; she is more of a developer. My number one strength is strategic. Which makes sense because almost everything that I am a part of, I am leading. Since taking strengths finder 2.0 my wife and I understand one another better, work better together and get a long better because we are relating to one another based on our strengths not our shortcomings. If you want to make the most of your relationships make sure you relate to others based on their strengths not their shortcomings. Often our greatest asset is also our greatest liability. Self control is the only thing that prevents our greatest asset from becoming our greatest liability.  

For further proof that strengths finder really works check out this data gathered by a Gallup poll, here. The data does not lie. If you would like to get a copy of Strengths Finder 2.0 click here.

3 safe assumptions 

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Generally it is not wise to make assumptions. Unfortunately I have learned this the hard way. You can either ask questions or make assumptions. If you want answers, ask questions. If you want problems build your expectations about reality on merely assumptions. Assumptions often lead to false assumptions. False assumptions often lead to miss understandings, which usually lead to a downward spiral. When it relates to others we should ask questions when we are able to. However there are times in life where we are relying on our own perceptions of people or circumstances and we have to move forward without all of the facts. In cases like that all we can do is go with what we perceive. In life we are always estimating and assuming stuff. We estimate how long our commute home will take. We assume that our house will be there when we get there. As we forecast reality we need to be able to make some safe assumptions. Think of it like bringing your umbrella to work when it is very overcast and moist in the morning but not yet raining. Or like a life preserving raft on a boat or a seat belt in a car. Life will blind side you so make sure you wear your seatbelt.

3 safe assumptions you can make.

  1. Things will take longer than you thought.
  2. Things will cost more than you thought.
  3. The people you trust will let you down more than your thought.

Things will take longer than you thought because there are many variables that are out of your control which can prohibit things happening exactly when and how you planned them to happen. All the planning in the world can not stop something that is out of your control. So enjoy the process and be patient with yourself and others. Things will cost more than you thought because things break, and it costs money for parts and labor. A first time home owner, a first time parent or first time Mercedes Benz owner can attest to this reality. When you buy something nice be sure to research the cost of maintenance and factor that into your decision. Also having an emergency fund is a wise way to prevent a problem from becoming a crisis. The people you trust will let you down more than you thought. This is a painful reality because you trusted them. You can avoid unnecessary disappointment by verbalizing your expectations. Once you verbalize your expectations then you can determine if those expectations are realistic or not. Unverbalized expectations almost always leads to disappointment. It is important to factor in let downs and disappointments into your meaningful relationships. Give people permission to be human. Meaningful relationships are not perfect because we are not perfect. Be merciful because one day you will need some mercy.

Are you growing?

Posted on by Adam LiVecchi

Just because you are getting older doesn’t mean you are growing up. Just because you are getting older doesn’t mean you are getting wiser. Growth is a choice. It doesn’t happen by accident, it happens on purpose. Someone who knows they need to grow, will be humble. Someone who is humble, will be teachable. So to know if you are growing find out if you are teachable. Below are 7 ways to identify if you are growing.

7 ways to identify if you are teachable.

  1. If you are teachable you desire to learn.
  2. If you are teachable you put into practice what you have learned.
  3. If you are teachable you learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others.
  4. If you are teachable you are willing to admit when you are wrong.
  5. If you are teachable you are willing to take correction and make right what is wrong.
  6. If you are teachable you don’t just learn from your leaders, you learn from your piers and even those who you perceive to be under you.
  7. If you are teachable you are slow to speak. If you are not slow to speak usually you think you know more than you really do.

“If you don’t apply what you have been taught you are not teachable.” –Sarah LiVecchi. You are not the best one to determine if you are teachable. A trusted friend who is perceptive and emotionally healthy is better suited to tell you the truth. Your growth is determined by your ability to be teachable and accountable. Remember the seeds of true greatness only grow on the grounds of humility. When you are humble you attract the help you need to get where you are going.